Evan is 15 Months

Evan had his 15 month check up yesterday....which took forever! He was 31 inches (50%) and 24.15lbs (55%) and his head was in the 90th%! He had a rash on one side of his belly and under his arm...not sure what that was about.

He talks all the time now. He attempts to say anything and even though it doesn't always sound like what it should you can tell what he's saying (when you have visual reference) by the syllables. He's working on animals sounds...he's got woof, rahr, quack, moo, neigh and maybe an oink every once in a while. Of course NO is his favorite word!

He loves to take anything his brother has away from him. He got to meet the Time -Out spot on his birthday because I caught him crawling on the kitchen table..which he did to steal his brother's hot chocolate. He did it 3 times! Also he threw Connor to the ground the other night when the neighbor girls were at the door because he wanted to see out. He's rough and is going to get what he wants no matter what!

His other favorite hobby is following me around crying to be picked up. He does this non-stop and if Dave's asks him if he can take him, he says "NO" and shakes his head. He just wants to be with his Mama all the time...except when there's something to climb on!

He's a sweet boy too! He loves to give hugs and kisses...especially to Elmo and anything with a dog on it! He goes to bed easily and sleeps all night and takes a nap during the day. He runs to the laundry room when you say "Time to feed the dogs" (where their bowls are kept). He runs to the stairs when you say time for bed or a bath. He understands so much it's amazing! Can't wait to see him grow into a sweet little boy!

Krismas

Connor had a cookie with some icing on it...tough to eat when you're 2!

Look the stockings have presents in them! The night before Dave was trying to read the Night Before Christmas to the boys..who weren't really paying any attention. So when he finished Connor told him that he had better turn off the fire and put the stockings back up right (assuming he meant so Santa could come)...guess he was paying attention!

Bodie got a nice big bone which he promptly tried to take outside...but it was too big to fit out the dog door! He eventually figured it out (or I opened the door) then he came back in when he was finished and helped the other two dogs polish off theirs too..presumably without asking.

A pirate ship! The night before we'd tried to get Connor to write a letter to Santa...but all he said he wanted was letters and a treasure chest...we got lucky with those two requests!

Evan worked hard to figure out how to get into big brother's new play-doh!

The boys had a nice Krismas (we found this spelling on The Meming of Life blog and we think it represents our approach). It took FOREVER to open presents and we really tried to make it a small Krismas...not too many presents at all. But they wanted to open and play with each one and then we had to stop for breakfast after a few and it literally took 2 hours just to open them all (and really this picture shows most of them). Connor played straight through until 4pm and then crawled into a corner by the couch and collapsed. They had lots of fun and definitely enjoyed the day.

The dogs were exhausted too!

Every time you turn around Evan has run off, climbed up on the chair and is trying to bust into the computer. He has almost figured out the mouse and is working on cracking our passwords! He's exhausting these days..and he just laughs when you tell him NO! He got to meet the Time Out spot on Friday...which was his 15 month birthday!

Evan got a vet kit that had this stethoscope in it. He has been wearing it like this since Friday (it's Tuesday now and he's still wearing it).

Practice Video

Here's Connor spelling his name and he was able to write the first 3 letters by himself this morning! Big day!

Pics

The boys playing at the park....Evan is mad that Connor is on the side he had been using and is trying to push him out of the way...Connor thinks it's funny!

Evan says...ok, maybe it is funny!

Connor working in his ABC book.

Evan wants to work at the table too. He can climb up onto the chairs now and esp likes to do it when no one is looking. He loves to stand in the chair.

Auntie Breezy and Josh were in town so we had a nice lunch with them! They gave the boys noisy toys...thanks A LOT!

Loss

As most of you know we suffered a loss last week when we found out that the baby that I was 16 weeks pregnant with had no heartbeat.

On Wednesday I went in for a regular check up and the nurse couldn't find a heart beat. She got a second person to come in and try and she still couldn't find it so they got a third person to come in with a newer machine and try. When she couldn't find the heartbeat they called the doctor and I called Dave. The doctor brought in a portable ultrasound machine and she also could not find a heart beat. They sent me upstairs to the big ultrasound machine where they confirmed that the baby was gone. They said that even though I was 16 weeks the baby was only measuring 13 weeks. This could mean that he had been gone for a while and my body had done nothing about it...I had NO signs. We went back down to my doctor to talk with her about our options. She said that she would need a specialist to do a D & E (they do this instead of a D & C when there is a baby involved and in the 2nd trimester).

We met with the specialist on Thursday morning, where they did another ultrasound to again confirm the findings. He talked with us about what all the procedure would include and about our options. We scheduled the procedure for Friday afternoon, but I had to go in on Friday morning to spend the day in the hospital so they could give me meds to prepare for the surgery.

Dave and Nora spent the day with me at the hospital keeping me occupied. The doctor said the meds could cause some pain, but I never noticed anything...I was just REALLY thirsty. I walked into the operating room and we had agreed that I wanted to be completely out for the procedure. They gave me some light meds that put me under but not too deep. They woke me up in the operating room afterward and took me to recovery. I never had any pain at all and still haven't 2 days later. They let me eat dinner and sent me home that night. We were gone for a total of 12 hours. The boys spent the day with a babysitter and were both in bed when we got home.

We decided that we felt that genetic testing was our number one priority because we want to know if there is something that will affect trying again in the future. But the remains will be released to a local funeral home where they will cremate him and give us the ashes. The doctor said that he didn't think that the baby had actually been gone more than a week, but because he only measured 13 weeks he had stopped growing. I feel that it was a problem with the placenta. On the ultrasound they saw nothing physically wrong with the baby, but the timing of the whole thing is about when the placenta takes over and it doesn't look like the placenta was able to do that. This pregnancy had problems from the very beginning...lots of bleeding and low progesterone levels in the beginning, but we thought that everything was fine when we had a normal ultrasound at 12 weeks. The testing the doctor will do may or may not tell us anything...we should hear this week.

We feel grateful that we had already decided to name him Samuel, Sam. I'm not sure why him having a name provides a bit of relief, but it does.

Physically I am doing really well, emotionally it's been hard on us both. I was almost 4 months pregnant. We had bought a new car, decided on decorations for the room, bought a baby book and a blankie. We had a stocking hanging on the fireplace and only 2 days before had started talking to Connor about how he was going to be a big brother again. Our family had 3 boys in our every thought of the future and that is the tough part to deal with.

Also, I have either been pregnant or nursing every single day of the last 3.5 yrs. I am trying to focus on things that I can do now that I am neither (drink spiked eggnog, take a hot bath, wear perfume). The boys are a good distraction because they still get up at 7:30am and go, go, go all day so there is no time to sit and focus on the sadness. And really, that is all I feel...a deep sadness. I am not angry or depressed or anything else but deeply sad.

We know that in a few months we will try again, but for now we will try and mourn the loss of our son, Sam.

Happy Birthday/Hanukkah

Evan had a bad hair day the other morning! That's what happens when you take a bath and then go straight to bed.

Yesterday was Dave's birthday and the first night of Hanukkah. So we had dinner then did birthday cake and presents. Connor sang Happy Birthday to Daddy all by himself...the whole song! Then Daddy unwrapped his bowling shoes! Then we got out the menorah so we could light the candles. Connor again sang Happy Birthday, this time to himself (dear Connor) and then tried to blow out the candles. It's a little confusing having everything on the same day!

Bowling shoes!!!

We had cheesecake which Evan thought was pretty darn good!

Connor is able to say the sounds that go with most letters now. His teachers at school were amazed today when I went to pick him up. He also set a family record yesterday and spelled "Kostusiak" correctly, all by himself while I was on the phone with Grandma Kostusiak. She said he was the youngest to be able to spell it...even beating out Aunt Mary Ann! He plays with letters like other kids play with action figures or cars. That's just his thing...so we go with it.

Evan got a new Elmo for Hanukkah that blows kisses and says "Elmo loves you!" He loves it!